Embracing Middle Age, or When did I get this old?

About ten years ago asked my mother (or my mother-in-law, I can't remember which, and that's part of the point of this whole post) When do I have to start taking a bunch of different pills each day? The answer was vague: Some time in your 40s.....

I will be 46 next month, and I'm already at the pile-of-pills stage. Allergy meds, thyroid hormone, vitamins, fish oil, herbal remedies for pre-menopausal issues....Oh yes, I take them all.

I also have started having to write things down in order to remember them. This is because I'm juggling homeschooling two teenagers, teaching ten piano/voice students, teaching two classes of Spanish each Friday at our homeschool co-op, and co-leading Mary's unit at American Heritage Girls. Oh, and tutoring two teens in English/writing. There are just too many people and too many subjects to keep straight in my head. Ten years ago I could do it.

The other middle-age thing I'm experiencing is the need for bifocals and/or reading glasses. This actually happened in the fall of 2011, but I'm still in denial. I had to get bifocals. I tried doing the bifocal contact lens thing, where you wear a lens in one eye for distance and in the other for reading, but my brain just couldn't make it work. So when I wear my contacts I have to use reading glasses. When I got my bifocal glasses, the lower half (the reading part) was a +1.5 and so I used reading glasses of that strength when I wore my contacts. I have now had to increase my reading glasses to +2.00, so the lower part of my regular glasses isn't strong enough anymore. Occasionally I do the really old-lady-ish thing of putting on my reading glasses in front of my regular glasses. Mostly I just wear my contacts and keep a pair of reading glasses on my head, holding my hair back like a headband. Then I forget where my reading glasses are. I think it's time for another trip to the eye doctor...

I keep wondering when did I get this old? How did this happen? Then I realize that my eldest child is 19, and I have two other teenagers. My hair is starting to go gray around the temples. My joints occasionally ache for no apparent reason. I am not "cool" anymore and don't care. Yup, I'm middle-aged.

Now, I'm not complaining, you know. There are definite perks to middle age. My children are fairly self-sufficient and are good at getting their schoolwork done and helping with chores around the house. They are also really fun to hang out with. My marriage is wonderful, going on twenty-two years now, and my husband is my best friend. I don't have a lot of drama in my life and I like it that way. I am blessed with good parents, parents-in-law, in-laws in general, and friends. God is good, even though He didn't stop my aging process at 29. 

Father's Day: Lessons I've Learned

     On Mother's Day I wrote about my wonderful mom and mother-in-law and the things I have learned from them over the years. Today I would like to write about my father, John Putney, and my father-in-law, Vic Carpenter. Both have been wonderful blessings to me!

     I remember, when I was little, seeing Dad on his knees in his study praying. That image is burned into my mind; I never had to ask where my father got his guidance and wisdom. He led our family in daily devotions, and stressed the reading of the Word, the memorizing of verses, sharing of prayer needs, and praying together as a family. When I was little I took this all for granted; surely everyone had a family like this! But now that I'm older and wiser I realize how unusual it was, and thank God for it. Even now, my dad and mom pray for all of us kids, and all of our kids, every day. If I have any prayer request, from the most trivial thing to the highly urgent, I know that I can call my parents and ask them to pray.
    I learned many other things from my dad.  My dad taught us to work hard (one of these days I'll blog about the Chore List) and yet imbued our lives with a sense of fun, too.  He sang silly songs in the car (do you still do that, Dad?) as we drove along. My teenagers still enjoy "Mareseatoats" and other crazy songs. Dad made sure that we went to the beach together as a family for breakfast on the beach every once in a while (thanks, Mom, for all your work in that, too.)  We saw the beautiful sights of Puerto Rico along with living the daily grind of school, work, housework, and church activities.  Trips to El Yunque and Luquillo Beach were day-long adventures of fun; as an adult I now realize just how much work went into planning those trips, and it inspires me to do the same sort of things with my children.
     Dad taught all of us the importance of consistent, loving discipline. I will never forget being in his study, having been disciplined for some naughtiness or other, and Dad giving me a huge bear hug, telling me that he loved me very much and wanted me to be a grown-up who loves the Lord and lives to please Him. Through his loving discipline I learned self-control and self-discipline.
     I thank God every day for Dad, and realize just how blessed I am to have him as my daddy.
     When I met and married Eric, I gained another dad, Vic, my father-in-law. God has blessed me greatly through him, as well! Who knew, back in 1985 when I took French 1 at Houghton College, that my French professor would one day be my father-in-law? Vic has a great sense of humor, and has endured much goofing-off on my part over the years. He can make a pun out of nearly anything, much to the we're-groaning-but-we-love-it dismay of the kids. He and I can make cross-lingual jokes out of things, and while I help him learn Spanish, he can continue to help me learn French. Vic inspires me to keep learning throughout life; he has learned multiple languages as an adult and continues to both take and teach classes at a local senior center. He shares his knowledge with others and maintains a personal quest to learn more all the time. He plays tennis as his life-time sport, continuing to play despite having both hips replaced about fifteen years ago.

TO SUM UP:  I have been greatly blessed through my own parents, John and Ruth, and Eric's parents, Vic and Char. They have taught Eric and me by their example how to have a good marriage, how to raise our kids, how to manage our finances, and how to serve the Lord and keep Him first in our lives. I don't deserve any of these blessings; I consider them unmerited favor, or grace if you will.  I praise the Lord for His enduring kindness.

Our 18th Anniversary

Today is Eric's and my 18th anniversary. We met about 20 years ago, and I knew within a few weeks that he would be my husband. But that's a story for another time. What I want to write about today is the major events of our marriage. Just for fun.

July 5, 1991--married in Houghton, NY
May 1993--Eric graduates from Houghton College, I finish my Master's Degree from UB
February 17, 1994--Caroline Ruth born
May 1996--Eric completes Master's Degree from Alfred University
July 1996--we move to Springfield, GA
May 15, 1997--Mary Charlotte born
July 1998--we move to Rincon, GA
December 1, 1998--Robert James a.k.a.Bobby born
November 2000--Mary has cerebral aneurysm repaired successfully
July 2001--10th anniversary getaway at Jekyll Island
July 2002---we move to Wake Forest, NC
January 2005--trip to India
May 2006--Eric receives MDiv. from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary
October 2006--we move to India
March 2007--we return from India
March-May 2007--Bobby undergoes chemotherapy for Diffuse Large B-cell lymphoma
May 15, 2007--Mary turns 10, and Bobby finishes chemo
June 18, 2008--Eric called to pastor Chevis Oaks Baptist Church
February 20, 2009--Caroline gets learner's driving permit
May 15, 2009--Mary turns 12, Bobby celebrates two years in remission
July 5, 2009---18 years of marriage!

You can surmise the many things I've left off this list, and the details of each story. This list is a bare-bones outline of major events in our lives over the last 18 years. Along the way we have grown in our love for each other and our trust in the Lord. We have learned more (not everything yet!) about patience, suffering, trust, and God's providence than we knew at the beginning of our marriage. I thank God every day for my wonderful husband. I pray that we will continue to grow older together, ministering to each other and to those around us. Deo volente....

Things For Which I'm Thankful

(This is only a partial list and may be expanded later....)

My salvation. The Holy Spirit. His comfort and peace. His conviction of sin.
My wonderful husband. A good marriage. Laughter. Love.
Having grown up in a Christian home. My excellent parents and their patient wisdom.
My sweet children. Bobby's cancer is still gone. The girls are healthy and beautiful.
My great in-laws. My mother-in-law may very well be the best one ever. (I don't know all the mothers-in-law everywhere, so I shrink from making an absolute statement about how great she is....)
My allergies have abated somewhat, and are under control with Claritin and Flonase.
We have electricity 24/7. My washer and dryer work. We have heat. We can drink water straight from the tap.
Our church. What a blessing!
Good friends.
Chocolate.

In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thess. 5:18

It's amazing....

...what just one night away from home, kids, responsibilities, and chores can do. This is where Eric took me Friday night to belatedly celebrate our anniversary. On the actual date of our anniversary, July 5th, I was in New York state with the kids and Eric's mom, and Eric was down here in Georgia. So on Friday his mom and dad took the kids for an overnight, and we went on an overnight of our own. It was great--I didn't know where we were going, and Eric had it all planned out. The River Street Inn is right on Bay Street in Savannah, overlooking River Street on the back side of the hotel. The river was just outside our windows. It's in an old building that was once one of the cotton warehouses which comprised the bulk of Savannah's business in the 1800's. We went out to dinner at an Indian restaurant, ate way too much (thali meal for those of you who know Indian food,) and then just enjoyed being in a nice hotel (with bed turn-down service, plush robes, and chocolates on your pillow!) As much as I dearly love my children, it is nice once in a while to have some alone time with my husband. We went to pick them up on Saturday feeling relaxed and refreshed.

On a side note: When we left the hotel on Saturday, there had been an accident just a few doors down with pretty impressive results. We walked down to see what was going on, and some German tourists asked us if it was part of a scene for a movie. (Savannah is used quite a bit for movie-making.) We had to tell them that no, this was reality. The lady driving the car took out my favorite statue in Savannah, a terra-cotta lion which was made in the mid-1800's. It's irreplaceable. Sad.

Seventeen Years...

...ago today Eric and I were married. Words cannot adequately describe how blessed I am to have Eric as my husband. God has given me a godly, sweet, caring, intelligent and funny man to be married to for life. During our marriage we have lived in three states and the country of India, had three children, gone through a cerebral aneurysm with one child and cancer with another, and seen Eric's profession of school psychologist change to the calling of being a minister. The foundation that has kept us solid through all of this is our relationship with the Lord. I don't know how anyone who doesn't know the Lord can go through some of the things that we have endured. But because the center of our marriage is God, the center holds when other things seem to be spinning wildly. The Lord has promised good to me, His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures.

Eric, I love you! Happy anniversary.