Compared to Whom?

One of the things I've noticed that we women tend to do a lot of is comparing ourselves to other women.  This is especially true in the home schooling community, but I believe it happens in our churches, in the workplace, and among friends.  I don't know if men do it as much as we do, but I think it's a serious problem for Christian women.  We compare ourselves both favorably and unfavorably with other women.  We do this in the areas of looks, weight, house-cleaning, children's academic and extra-curricular success, personality, career, handi-crafts, and I'm sure many other areas.  We either look at someone else and then put ourselves down:     

"She's so much thinner/prettier/more stylish than I am!"

"Her kids are so smart and accomplished. Why can't my kids do all that?"

"She's so nice and has so many friends. I don't know how she does that."

"Her house is like something in a magazine. I wish mine looked like that."

"She knows how to sew/knit/crochet/smock/paint/you-name-it, and I don't."

Or we look at someone else, and then puff ourselves up:

"At least I'm not as fat as so-and-so."
"Her kid can't possible have done all of that. I heard he's failing math."
"She may have lots of friends, but they probably aren't all REAL friends."
"She must not spend any time with her kids in order to keep her house so nicely. At least I spend time with my kids." OR "Her house is a total wreck! What a slob."
"I know how to sew/knit/crochet/smock/paint/you-name-it, and she doesn't."

Why do we do this?  I'm not the only one, am I?  In my case it tends to be more the putting-myself-down side, as in, "I'm fat, my house should be neater, I don't push my kids enough, etc."  


Our culture fosters this attitude.  Just look at the magazines as you check out at the grocery store.  Better still, DON'T look at the magazines, since the women on them are totally photo-shopped anyway.  Comparing yourself to them would be a huge mistake.  But those magazines all focus on making us feel that we must compare ourselves to some man-made standard of beauty, intelligence, or accomplishment.
So, what to do.....
I talked to one of my friends on the phone today, and she was encouraging me to take every thought captive, even sharing with me a circumstance in her life where she has been struggling to take every thought captive.  This really is a heart-and-mind issue, one which gets at the root of our very being.  As a Christian woman, I need to see what God's Word says
about all of this:

2 Corinthians 10:12  Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.ESV

Ouch!  Without understanding!  That rather hurts, doesn't it?  Paul was speaking in the context of defending his ministry and teaching, but I think there is a principle to be applied.  If we are not to compare ourselves to others, then to whom should we compare ourselves?

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.  ESV

Philippians 2:5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, [1] 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, [2] being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. ESV

Over the next days, weeks, and months I'll be concentrating on comparing myself to the only One who really matters. 

On How Our School Year is Going...

It has been an eventful August and September, and October is already shaping up to be busy as well.  I love the new planner I bought.  It has helped Mary and Bobby be a lot more self-directed in their work.  We've (I've) also done a lot better staying organized this year, and keeping up with all the corrections and grading I need to do.  Here is our each of us are doing:


I am still teaching all three kids at home.  I also teach piano two afternoons a week, and have more people interested, so that may increase to three afternoons a week.  In addition, I'm teaching two classes on Fridays at our home school co-operative, Kingdom Builders.  The two classes are Expository Writing and Biology; I have a dozen students in each class.   I challenge anyone who thinks home schooling isn't a full-time job to come spend a week with us!


Caroline is working about 15 hours a week now (Chick-Fil-A) in addition to doing her Senior year. At home she's taking Pre-Calculus, Advanced Chemistry, Health, and Literature/Language Arts/Grammar.  Through the co-op she's taking my writing class to supplement her language arts at home, Art, and Yearbook/Advanced Photography.  She is a very busy girl!  She will graduate from high school next May, and is already in the process of college applications.


Mary is an 8th grader this year.  At home she's studying Algebra I, Sonlight Core 7 World History and Literature, Human Anatomy, BJU Grammar & Writing;  through the co-op she's taking Geography, Cooking, and Art.  She's also teaching herself to write left-handed this year by using an elementary-level handwriting book to make herself write left-handed every day.  She draws ALL the time, too.  She has also just joined a local American Heritage Girls troop, and will begin to work on badges for that.


Bobby is in the 6th grade, and he's realizing that school doesn't get any easier as you get older.  He's taking Geography, American History, and Art through the co-op; at home he's doing Math 7, Zoology (Land Animals,) Handwriting, BJU Grammar & Writing, and for Literature (the pièce de résistance) he is doing Literary Lessons from Lord of the Rings.  It's a great curriculum that incorporates Beowulf, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and Shakespeare as well as the LOTR trilogy.  Right up his alley.  He is also a Tenderfoot rank scout in Troop 47 and is working on merit badges for scouts.


Obviously, we are all pretty busy.  Our other current events:


#1    My sweet husband will be stepping down as pastor of our current church at the end of October.  He has explained this over at his blog, in the post I linked and in another called "Reasons for Resigning."  We love the people at Chevis Oaks!  We will continue to be friends with them and I hope we'll continue to sharpen and edify one another as Christians.


#2   We were able to buy a nice four-year-old van a couple of weeks ago, thanks to the incredible generosity of my in-laws as well as the dogged efforts of our friend Rickey Tyre, who found the van for us at an auction.  It's such a relief to have an newer vehicle and not be worried about breakdowns, A/C not cooling well, etc. The van is a Dodge Grand Caravan SXT.  Nice.


#3    Bobby is the Honored Hero for the Savannah Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Light the Night Walk on October 15th.  Our family has a team, creatively named Team Carpenter, and we'll be walking that night along with hundreds of other Savannahians who are trying to raise money for people with various blood cancers.  Our team page is here.


#4    A month ago we bought a Wii, with Wii Fit Plus.  I'll write a longer post about it later, but we are all loving getting off the couch and playing sports as well as other fitness games together.  I have started to lose weight and tone up, and I feel so much better.  More soon on that.

Our Family

On Sunday evening we asked someone to snap a quick picture of our family.  Here it is:

Okay....So I'm the overweight one second from the left.... next to my handsome husband and surrounded by our three cute kids.  I think it's time to go back on a strict diet.