Sunday, March 18, 2007

Please Lord!

It's totally dark in Bobby's hospital room except for this computer screen. I look across the room at my son, curled up under his favorite blanket with Mr. Smiley, Brownie, and Ruff, his favorite stuffed animals. All I can think right now is, "Please, Lord, just give us more time with him. Please, God, I know he's yours to do with as you will, but could you just heal him and let him grow up? Let him hit puberty, let his voice change, let him be as tall as his daddy, let him play sports, let him learn to play the piano, let him go to college, get married, and have children of his own some day. Please?" Is this just selfishness on my part? I'm not trying to strike any bargains with the Lord--I know that God doesn't play that game, and neither do I. I know that Bobby is God's child, and that God is sovereign. I pray that this whole situation will bring glory to God. And yet...I don't want to lose my son! He is so sweet and cuddly and smart--how could I possibly handle it if he doesn't get better? These are such dark thoughts. Some people would say it's "Bad luck" to even think this way. But I don't believe in luck. I believe in an All-Powerful Creator God who has known every day, minute and second of my son's life since the beginning of time. And I hear a still, small voice telling me to be still and know that He is God, and rest in Him. This is all that I cling to, and it gives me peace. He gives me Peace.

8 comments:

jmtreader said...

omg wow i'll pray for u guys i rly hope ur son gets better may the lord be with u

jmtreader said...

i don't rly expect u to publsh this comment, lol, don't rly expect u to publish the last one it's jus this is the only way i know of to contact u. reading these last few posts have got me thinking and, would u mind if i posted something about it in my own blog? jus thought i'd ask u b4 i posted anything on the topic

Alice C. said...

Who are you and how did you find my blog? Just wondering. And please answer in real English--I'm almost 40 and have little patience for text-message-style writing on the internet. :)

Alan Knox said...

*snicker* almost 40...

You know we're praying for you.

-Alan

ciao babe said...

What's up?

You know I just had to change my display name to put a comment on your blog :-)

Anyway, I have really been wondering how you are doing.

Now I just had to laugh about the real english comment. I guess you failed to mention you were also an English teacher!

Love ya!

Chandra said...

Alice, I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster you are all on right now. You are in my prayers so many times during the day. I just want to tell you your strength and faith right now is amazing to me. Even in this, you are being such a blessing to me, seeing how you are still being able to praise God and have total faith and comfort knowing he is in control is such an inspiration to me. I think your feelings and thoughts are all totally normal and I wouldn't say it is bad luck at all. You are doing what any mother that loves her child would do. I love you and I just want you to know that even in this dark time, you have been a bright spot in my life the last couple weeks!! Thank you for that! I am here......ANYTIME

Alice C. said...

Alan: Did I hear a "snicker?" Umm...who is turning forty this month? LOL

Renata: We must talk soon. :) Love you!

Chandra: I love you, too! Your visits always cheer us up.

seashell518 said...

Alice, this blog makes me feel like I am right there in Savannah with you, talking to you! Keep it up, u are a great writer and tell it like it truly is! Isn't the Caring Bridge site wonderful!
God is Good All The Time!
The comparison of a Cancer diagnosis and being pushed into a pool is perfect! It sure takes your breath away!
Wish I could be there to visit with you! Love, Aunt Betsy